


Forget Me Not

by ArgentSleeper



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Amnesia, F/M, M/M, Pining, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 05:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7301491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgentSleeper/pseuds/ArgentSleeper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One year, four months, and sixteen days ago Merlin was in an accident and lost his memory.</p>
<p>One year, four months, and sixteen days from then, Merlin is getting married to his fiancée Freya.</p>
<p>Both then and now, Arthur is in hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forget Me Not

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> For the beautific pan, who graduated second in her class because she is amazing and everyone should bow down before her. She requested pain and pining, so I have delivered. Love you! <3

_“Make that face for too long and it will get stuck that way.”_

That's what Hunith, his then nanny, had told him as a boy every time he'd come home from school with a scowl. Arthur could only pray now that she was right. If not, he had no idea how he was going to keep this smile on his face for the next few hours.

Merlin was getting married today.

In any other universe, in any other reality where life was fair and happily ever after was a thing, Arthur would be ecstatic about this day. Because then the person Merlin would be beaming about would be him. Not Freya, fucking sweet, perfect Freya, who rode in on her white horse and swept Merlin off his feet.

_“It doesn't have to be this way, Arthur. You can stop this. Just tell him.”_

Morgana had made it sound so easy. Like all Arthur had to do was declare his love and miraculously everything would go back to how it was before. But Arthur knew better. He knew now that some dreams weren't meant to come true.

One year, four months, and sixteen days ago everything had been fine. Then he and Merlin had a fight. A massive fight with thrown crockery and spiteful words. And then Merlin had walked out the door, and he had gotten into his car, and an hour later he was found thrown through his windshield by the force of the lorry that had slammed into his rear bumper.

Arthur had rushed to the hospital, convinced he was never going to see his partner again. In a way he had been right. While Merlin did wake up (after two of the worst weeks of Arthur's life until today), he had forgotten his entire adult life. Including his love for Arthur.

Morgana begged him to say something. Went on and on about how unfair it was to make this decision on Merlin's behalf. But Arthur stayed silent. He hid every scrap of evidence of their relationship and forced himself to smile and nod and never let Merlin see how badly his heart was breaking.

_“Maybe this is like a second chance. I should make the most of it, you know? A new life, a new Merlin.”_

Merlin moved out and moved on. He got a new job in a new city. He started dating Freya the Perfect and called Arthur once a week to update him on how wonderful his second chance at life was treating him.

So yes, it had to be this way. Yes, Arthur was going to have to freeze his face in a plastic smile and clap Merlin on the back and help him find the rings that he lost _again_ and show the caterers where to put the cake and do anything and everything but scream at the top of his lungs. The one thing he had refused to do was stand up with Merlin. Merlin had asked, of course he had. They had been friends since they were children. But while Arthur thought he might be able to make it through watching the ceremony from afar, giving a speech about how happy he hoped Merlin and Freya would be?

He would rather die first.

“Arthur!” Gwaine trudged down the steps of the church. Arthur was grateful Gwaine had been willing to take on the role of best man despite only knowing Merlin for the past six months. “Have you seen the groom? He stepped out twenty minutes ago to make a phone call and he hasn't come back yet.”

Arthur rolled his eyes to hide how his heart skipped a beat. “You know Merlin. He probably tripped over his own feet and broke his ankle. You head off the minister, I'll go find him.”

Whenever Merlin needed space to think while they were still together, he would always go into the spare room, clutching a photo of his mother and talking through his problems as if her wisdom could somehow transmit from beyond the grave. At least that's what he used to do. Arthur wasn't sure just how far this “new life, new Merlin,” was meant to extend. He hated the idea that Merlin might have changed so much.

Assuming that Gwaine had checked all the rooms inside the church, Arthur decided to meander the border, telling himself he would feel guilty if Merlin missed his own wedding. There was a stand of trees behind the church. The photographer had exclaimed over it when she saw, declaring it the perfect place to do their pictures. Arthur had just grit his teeth into a smile and nodded.

“-finally here.”

“Yeah. I guess it is.”

Arthur quickly ducked behind a tree. He recognised the voices immediately of course. He'd recognise Merlin's voice anywhere.

“I'm sorry your mother can't be here,” Freya said softly.

“I'm sure she would have liked you.”

_That's because your mother liked everyone_ , thought Arthur spitefully.

“Are you sure she wouldn't resent me? I'm ruining your future, after all.”

“Stop that, you are not.” Arthur could hear the stubborn certainty in Merlin's voice. “If anything, I'm ruining yours. I'm the one who proposed, aren't I?”

“What a pair we make!” Freya huffed out a laugh. There was a long pause, and Arthur wondered if this was the point he should jump in, pretending all the while he hadn't overheard a word. Not that he understood a word they were saying. Before he could will his feet to move, however, she spoke again, voice so soft Arthur had to strain to hear. “Do you think we'll be happy together, Merlin?”

“I… yes of course we will. The vows call for me to love and cherish you. I can do that. And being with someone you love… What could make me happier?”

“Being with someone you love as more than just a friend?”

Arthur's breath caught in his throat. Merlin didn't love Freya? Merlin wasn't _in love_ with Freya?

Apparently this wasn't a good enough obstacle for Merlin, though. “We can learn to love each other! We've talked about this, Freya. I thought we agreed we were tired of waiting.”

“I know, but…”

“If you want to… I could talk to him for you. He would listen to me. And if it doesn't work out, well there's always the honeymoon. Wasn't that the whole point, to just drink and forget?” Merlin's voice cracked on the last word and Arthur ached for him.

“Because forgetting has worked out so well for you?”

Merlin's answer was silence. Then, “He wouldn't even agree to… At least Gwaine was supportive enough to be happy for us. I thought he would at least…”

“I'm sorry, Merlin.”

More silence, broken by a rustle of fabric Arthur didn't dare poke his head out to investigate. His head was spinning in confusion. What was going on here?

“We should get back. They'll be looking for us.”

“I love you, Merlin.”

“I love you, too.”

Arthur ducked further into his hiding place as they passed. Watching them walk by hand in hand, he wondered if Merlin would even notice if he skipped the ceremony altogether.

But he didn't, of course. As the wedding march played Arthur was there, seated as far back as he could get, hand tucked in his sister’s for support. He couldn't look at Merlin, couldn't bear to see how handsome or happy he was. Instead he watched with everyone else as Freya floated down the aisle. She was gorgeous in her white dress and lace veil. He didn't need Morgana's sympathetic hand squeeze silently pointing out " _That should be you._ ” It could never be him. Not anymore.

Freya stopped at the front of the church, smiling at Merlin as he took her hand and drew her up beside him. They turned to face the minister, and then… Merlin paused. His smile faded, and his grip on Freya’s hands seemed to tighten for a moment before he let go. He leaned back towards Gwaine, whispering something in his best man’s ear. Gwaine’s eyes widened in shock, then he pulled back with a huge grin on his face.

“Oh thank _fuck_.”

With that Merlin was shoved unceremoniously out of the way as Gwaine swept Freya into his arms and kissed her.

The church burst into confused half-whispers, and Arthur felt frozen in his seat. What had just happened? Was this what the two of them had been babbling in the woods about? But- but what about Merlin?

Merlin, who was still at the front of the church, not even glancing at the spectacle of his bride and best man. Instead he was searching the crowd, a glimmer of something not quite like disappointment in his eyes. Then his gaze met Arthur's, and Arthur didn't dare hope to believe what he saw there. At least until Merlin was walking back up the aisle and stopping in front of him.

“Why didn't you tell me?”

Arthur just blinked, still a bit stunned. “What?”

“I can understand if you didn't want me anymore but why couldn't you have at least told me so I wouldn't think that I was going crazy to remember a time when you did?”

“Remember?”

“Seven months ago. And every day since I wish I hadn't. I was better off not knowing how much you hate me.”

Merlin made to walk away, but Arthur, having finally shook off his paralysis, shot a hand out to grab his wrist and pull him back, ignoring the eyes of the guests around them. “Merlin, I could never hate you.”

“Then why didn't you fight for me?”

“I didn't think you wanted to be fought for! You- you were marrying Freya!”

“Because I couldn't marry you! And she… well she and Gwaine…” Merlin hung his head. “We just didn't want to be alone anymore.”

“You idiot.” Arthur tugged him closer, taking Merlin's face in his hands and pressing a soft kiss, hesitant, unsure, on his lips. “I won't ever let you be alone again. Please don't ever forget that.”

“This time, I won't.”

 


End file.
